I've suffered from general anxiety for over 3 years now. It was triggered when our friends were murdered in 2004. I suffered with it for a while, went on Lexapro briefly and then back off it. I don't like taking daily medication, and I've always been able to handle it pretty well.
I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but it's gotten bad and I'm not handling it well. I'm sleeping a lot, I feel nervous the majority of the time, I've started having headaches at least 4 times a week, and I have a lightheaded/dizzy feeling a lot of the time now, too. I am thinking it has to do with me starting school. The closer it gets, the more nervous I am. I start in 5 days, and I'm excited about it, I don't dread it or anything. I guess the reason it's making me anxious is I'm worried about going to school, and caring for my children and my home at the same time. I had a breakdown Sunday night, I just started crying while I was folding a load of towels. My whole body felt like it was shaking uncontrollably, but I wasn't shaking at all. It came and went pretty quickly, and I didn't identify it as anxiety until later.
I should probably go to the doctor, and get put back on meds, but I just don't want to, and I'm not really sure why. I guess I want to wait until I start school and see if it goes away, or at least back to the tolerable level it was a few weeks ago. I will have to do something if it doesn't ease up soon, though, I don't know how much longer I can handle this.
8.23.2007
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5 comments:
Maybe you can do the meds until school's been in for a while, and your body realizes it's ok? Then once you're in the swing of things, you can go back off them.
I'm sure daily meds are no fun, but if it's going to help, then it sounds worthwhile.
(hugs)
I guess that's a possibility. I don't know why I'm so reluctant to take the meds, honestly. I suppose I should try and figure that out.
Thanks, Kim. :)
I am sorry you are going through this Paula. It would be a good idea to figure out why you are so reluctant about meds. I take a small dose of xanax as needed (which isn't often, but school makes me need it here and there and a few other things). I try to look at it like I do my heart meds... I surely wouldn't deny myself heart meds just because I want to handle my heart issue on my own, so why do that to myself when it comes to my anxiety issues.
I think alot of people are reluctant to take meds for anxiety /depression and the like because they feel like that is admitting they are weak or can't handle life on their own. I finally decided to treat my anxiety after I found out that some of what I was attributing as anxiety was actually a heart issue (which gives me a very similar shaky feeling as anxiety does). Now I don't care what meds it takes I just want to feel healthy and normal KWIM?
Sarah, I know you're right, and I really need to work on that. It does help to think that I wouldn't resist meds for a physical ailment and try to handle it on my own. Maybe some of it is that it makes me angry that I can't handle it on my own. I have a good life and I have nothing to be anxious about, so what is wrong with me, you know? Thanks for your comments, they are very helpful. :)
I think what most people don't realize is that anxiety /depression, and any other "pyschological" problems are actually physical ailments. Like diabetes where you have a problem either producing insulin or utilizing it, in most psychological issues you have a problem controlling levels or usage of certain chemicals in your body. Unlike some "physical" ailments, it is possible for this to be transient thus meaning not a lifelong change or lifelong medication (though some things are lifelong). Psychological treatment is just so much newer than physical treatment that many people still hold stigma about it.
Maybe you are angry that you can't handle it on your own, the good news is... you don't have to!
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