Did they change the format in this thing? It looks different. Anyhoo..

I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something, I think. I mentioned before how I've been so moody lately. I started my period yesterday so I chalked it up to that. I guess it could still be. I just go from not really in a good mood, but just normal to either mad or upset in the blink of an eye. Everything Darrell does lately just drives me up the wall, makes me mad at him. Today I was trying to clean up, the bedroom was a disaster because Darrell was cleaning out the closet yesterday. I just kept finding more junk with nowhere to put it. My house is so tiny, it's like living in a cracker box. We have no storage, no organization. Money is really tight this week, I mean no groceries kind of tight. We aren't finished Christmas shopping, and all of December's bills are due. I guess it just all got to me at once and I just started crying and couldn't stop. I mean it was a huge, sobbing kind of cry. I just feel so out of control emotionally lately, and I really hate it.

On to brighter subjects, if you can call it that, I think Shelby is entering the terrible twos. She has had as much of an attitude that a toddler can have lately. It's hard to describe, just really cranky I guess is the best way. At first I thought she was jealous of the dog, because she started it like the very DAY we got the dog. I think that was part of it, she doesn't seem to be so jealous now, but the behavior hasn't really abated. It has some, but not completely. She's not like that all day, but when she is it's incredibly annoying.

My house is a wreck, I've absolutely got to get it cleaned up completely tomorrow. I started on it today, I got the dishwasher loaded and ran it, cleaned the master bathroom and dusted the living room. I need to do laundry but my washer and dryer are piled high with junk out of the closet. There's an old treadle sewing machine in my laundry room in front of the back door that I really don't want to get rid of but have nowhere to put it. It needs to be refinished. My kitchen table is covered over with computers and computer parts where Darrell has been working. And now the kitchen is dirty again from us eating lunch and supper today. It's not disgusting or anything, just really cluttered, which makes it look a lot more dirty than it is. I hate clutter, and living in a small house guarantees that you'll have it. God, I wish we had a bigger place. My car is making funny noises today too, wouldn't it be wonderful if it went out? (/sarcasm)

Oh, remember in my last post about the prayer thing? Well, in the newspaper this week, there was a thing about the PTA meeting, sort of like a minutes. It told everything that happened, who the speakers were, the 2nd grade did a program, etc. Anyway, it actually said that Mr. so and so did a little talk of rememberance. Bullshit! LOL He said: let's bow our heads, and then a lot of Lord, Father, etc. were in there. He did talk about keeping the soldiers safe, etc., but it was not a rememberance, it was a PRAYER. That pretty much convinces me right there that they are not supposed to be doing that. I guess no one has ever spoke up before though. I remember going to graduations when I was younger and they'd do a prayer at the beginning. At the time, I didn't think anything of it, but as I've gotten older and started questioning what I was taught growing up, I do. Honestly I'd like to just move from here. I like the small town feel on one level, but I think the pros of leaving outweigh the cons.

I hope everyone reading had a good Thanksgiving holiday!